


How can I be sure?

by smkkbert



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-06-01 06:05:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6503857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smkkbert/pseuds/smkkbert
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>@louehmysoul said: Heyy I got a prompt! What about Felicity finding out she’s pregnant and freaking out, Oliver gets worried because she’s acting weird and then she tells him and it’s so fluffy <3 thank you!!!</p><p>(tumblr prompt this was inspired by)</p>
            </blockquote>





	How can I be sure?

_How can I be sure?_  
_In a world that's constantly changing,  
How can I be sure?_

As soon as he heard the keys turning in the lock of the door, Oliver straightened up tensely. He felt his mouth go dry and his heart starting to race in his chest painfully quickly, making it hard to breathe and hurting his ribs.

The most terrible déjà-vu that he had ever been forced through was creeping into his heart. Since the Gambit had gone down, he had suffered through a lot of those, but this… This was surely the worse. Maybe because it felt the realest and because other than those déjà-vus of the night the Gambit had sunken or the day his father had killed himself right in front of his eyes, it wasn’t that far back in the future. And it could happen again. Anytime.

He felt his breath catch in his throat, realizing that Felicity wore the same red coat she had worn back then – back when he had been sitting here and recording his video for William, and Felicity had come in. And she had broken up with him.

It was almost a year ago now, and still he felt the ache in his heart whenever he thought about it. And he certainly felt it now that he could see her moving into the room in the wheelchair she had been sitting in back then and heard her say the words that had broken him all over again. He could even hear the door falling shut behind her when she had left the penthouse. When she had left him.

Oliver took a deep breath, forcing those thoughts out of his mind. Now was not the time to think about that. He had to focus on the situation ahead of him. He couldn’t lose himself in the memory of what had been. Not right now.

“Hey,” Felicity said with a frown on her face, cocking her head and closing the door behind her. “What you’re doing?”

“I was waiting for you,” Oliver replied, his voice sounding hoarse.

“Didn’t you receive my message that I was going to be late tonight? I had an important meeting that I couldn’t-“

“I did get your message,” Oliver interrupted her quietly. “But I needed to talk you so, so I figured I should just wait for you to come home.”

Oliver didn’t miss how Felicity bit down on her bottom lip nervously before she nodded like she had just made a decision, took off her coat and came to sit down on the other side of the table, stating, “It’s actually a good thing because I need to talk to you, too.”

He felt his heart skip a beat and his breath catch in his throat, knowing that the moment he had been dreading to come for the last two and a half weeks was coming now, and the thought made his stomach twist and turn painfully because he just knew what would happen and what would happen.  
Just like he had known what would happen the moment he had seen Felicity after the recording of the video for William had stopped.

Oliver watched Felicity closely.

She had been avoiding him lately. It had been impossible to miss it in the last two and a half weeks since it had started. Admittedly, they had had a lot to do those last days. His job as mayor had kept him busy, Felicity had been working on an important project, and on top of all of that they had been forced to spend long nights in the bunker since another heir of Count Vertigo had decided on starting to sell a new drug in the city, and the team had only managed to take him down a few hours ago. Still Oliver knew that even the time they could have spend with one another Felicity had spend somewhere else. Ergo, she was avoiding him.

It had started the evening that she had come home from work, looked at him with a nervous smile and had wanted to say something when the alarm had gone off, and they had headed to the Arrow cave where they had learned about the third Vertigo in Star City. Later that night when there had been nothing more they could have done for the moment, he had asked if she had wanted to tell him something before, but she had only shaken her head and told him that she was tired and was going to bed. And it had also been the very same day she had had that doctor’s appointment her assistant Gerry had told him about when he had called Queen Incorporated to ask if she was free for lunch.

“Do you want to start?” Felicity asked after a moment.

Oliver thought about it shortly. He wanted her to tell him. He didn’t want to just tell her that he knew. But he also knew that he had run so often in his life, and he had done so many things wrong that maybe Felicity needed some assurance that whatever that doctor’s appointment she hadn’t told him about had brought to the light wouldn’t make him turn away from her and run. Maybe she needed to know that nothing she could say or do right now would make him turn his back on her and run.

He wished she would have told him from the start. Maybe for the first time Oliver really got what it felt like to be shut out from the life of the person you loved. He had a strong idea on what was going on with her, but it was still different from hearing it from her. It felt… weird. And if he was completely honest with himself, he had to admit that it hurt him that she didn’t trust him with what was going on with her though he wasn’t sure whether he had any right to be hurt after everything he had kept secret from her.

Or was it any different now that they had been through his lies and had actually promised themselves to never keep secrets from one another, Oliver wondered, looking down at the ring Felicity had placed on his left hand when they had gotten married three months, two weeks and six days ago.

“Oliver?” Felicity asked worriedly, and he looked up at her, seeing her frown slightly. “Everything alright?”

“I-“ He started but figured that he wasn’t sure what to answer. He felt like losing it already, and he was dreading the moment that she was going to tell him that she was terminally ill because he just knew that it was that. It was different to hear her actually say it, and he just didn’t feel ready to hear it because he had to be strong for Felicity.

He had to be her light in the darkness of this situation. He just wasn’t sure if he could be.

The pain and fear that his voice had shown when speaking the one short syllable didn’t stay unnoticed by her. She frowned, cocking her head.

“Everything okay with William?” she asked after a while when Oliver still hadn’t spoken.

“Yes,” Oliver answered hastily, putting on a smile that he just knew didn’t reach his eyes. “We had a great day and are thinking about going to a baseball game the other weekend.”

“Sounds like fun,” Felicity replied.

Oliver nodded. “Yes, it’s… I think we finally found our way into a real father and son relationship. It’s great.”

Felicity sucked in a short breath, biting down on her bottom lip once more, during Oliver’s last words, and when he frowned slightly in response, she avoided his gaze and looked down onto her arms.

He knew that it wasn’t about William. What was going on with her was not about him. After they had gotten back together, and Oliver had finally become the hero in the light he had always thought he couldn’t be, Felicity had been the first to notice that what was missing for Oliver to be perfectly happy was his son. So she had found William and Samantha, and together they had traveled to Europe where they had been living then and asked them to come back. As long as he had given her the chance to do so, she had always supported him about William.

No, Oliver was sure that what was wrong with Felicity just had to do with the doctor’s appointment she hadn’t told him about, neither before nor after she had been there. If Gerry hadn’t told him, Oliver still wouldn’t know.

So this couldn’t mean anything good.

Just like her behavior since the appointment couldn’t be any good. He couldn’t count how often he felt like she had wanted to tell him something but had stopped herself from doing so. Neither could he count how many times she had hastily disappeared when he had asked her if everything was alright with her.

“I know it,” Oliver suddenly heard himself say.

For a short second Felicity’s eyes widened in panic, but then she laughed a little nervously, and asked, “What do you mean, ‘you know’? What do you know?”

“I know about the doctor’s appointment you didn’t tell me about,” Oliver answered.

He watched the nervous smile fall from her lips and her facial expression changing to a much more nervous one. She looked at him for a long moment, biting down on her bottom lip. Then she lowered her gaze to her hands, avoiding his gaze.

“Oh.”

It was so quiet that he barely heard the little syllable falling from her lips, but he did.

“Yes. Oh,” he replied calmly, and took in a deep breath. “Felicity, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I… I wanted to, but then the whole thing with Vertigo 3.0 happened, and it never felt like the right time. I didn’t want to tell you in between one of your mayoral meetings and you going out to hit the streets. I mean… I just-”

“Felicity,” Oliver interrupted her gently, and Felicity fell silent.

Slowly Oliver reached out his hands and took Felicity’s in his, gently rubbing his thumbs over the knuckles. She smiled at him with tears in her eyes.

God, she was so strong!

The thought made tears springing into his eyes, too.

“I tried to give you time,” he explained. “I really tried, but it’s been two and a half weeks by now, and… I know that I’ve often run when there are… difficult situations, but… It’s different now. I know how to be there for you. So I will stay with you no matter what happens. I will support you in all your decisions. I need you to know that. And I need you to know that you never ever have to be strong for me. I am going to be strong for the both of us. Or at least I will try. I am here with you. We’re in this together. In sickness and in health. For better or worse.“

Felicity looked at him without saying anything, trying to process his words. So Oliver lifted both of her hands to his lips and kissed the knuckles before he looked back at her, hoping his eyes showed all the support he wanted to offer her. He needed her to know that she didn’t have to go through this alone. Because he would be here for her. No matter what.

“That was… intense,” Felicity answered after a while, cocking her head.

“I just need you to know that I am here for you. I am not leaving you.”

“I know that,” Felicity replied. “I mean… I’ve been left a lot of times, but with you I am sure that you won’t leave me, won’t leave us actually, so we’re good. Well, despite for the fact that the speech you just gave sounded more like what I expect you would say if I would be send home from the hospital to die and not the first time we talk about the fact that I am pregnant. I mean-”

“You’re what?” he almost choked out.

“Pregnant,” Felicity answered with a chuckle. “I am pregnant. Want me to say it again?”

Oliver wanted to nod because he needed to hear it again and again because it couldn’t be true and it couldn’t be real, but he wasn’t able to. He wasn’t able to form words. He wasn’t able to move. He wasn’t able to do anything. He wasn’t able to even process her words. All he could do was staring.

Pregnant.

Felicity was pregnant?

But…

Did that that mean that she wasn’t sick?

Did it mean that all his fear had been for nothing and this was the luckiest instead of the most terrible day of his life? Did it mean that he was not going to lose her but instead have his family grow? Did it mean that he actually had the chance to experience all the moments he had missed with William with his second child? Did it mean-

“Oliver,” Felicity whispered quietly, and, when his gaze focused on her face, he saw her looking at him worriedly. “Oliver, are you alright?”

Oliver tried to answer, but he felt himself unable to. He made three attempts to open his mouth and say something, but no sound came out. How was he supposed to say anything? He still wasn’t sure about what was going on here – whether Felicity was going to die or they were having a baby – so how was he supposed to do anything?

“Oliver,” Felicity whispered once more. “Hey, what’s going on? That was not what I thought your reaction would be when I finally confirmed to you that I am pregnant which you said you’ve known all along.”

Oliver nodded.

Felicity was pregnant. She had said it several times by now. That had to mean that it was true. Felicity was really pregnant. They were going to have a baby. Together.

Slowly Oliver got up from his chair and walked around the table until he was standing right in front of Felicity.

“Get up,” Oliver asked her with hoarse voice.

“What?” Felicity asked back confusedly.

“Please get up,” Oliver replied, gesturing with his fingers that she should get up.

Felicity hesitated shortly, but she did get up, never taking her eyes off of him. Oliver watched her closely while he slowly stepped closer and even more slowly reached out his arms to wrap them around her chest. And then everything went so incredibly fast that Felicity released a high-pitched screech when Oliver pulled her against him and lifted her into his arms and started swirling her around in the air with a loud laugh of utter happiness.

“We’re having a baby!” he exclaimed.

Felicity kept laughing though her hands tightened to fists in the fabric of his henley to make sure she wouldn’t fall because even though she knew that Oliver would never let her fall, she still felt the need to make sure it really wouldn’t happen. She didn’t only have to think about herself anymore. She also had to think about the baby. She didn’t believe Oliver would let the baby fall either, but it seemed like her maternal instinct had already started.

“We’re having a baby!” he exclaimed once more.

“I know!” Felicity replied, never stopping to laugh, but the baby is getting dizzy when you keep swirling us around like that.

“Oh, sorry.”

Oliver came to a stand hastily and set Felicity back down on the floor, carefully keeping his hands on her to make sure she didn’t fall in case all the swirling had made her too dizzy. And as soon as he straightened back up, he crashed her against his chest tightly and kissed her with all the love that he got for her.

He still wasn’t sure if he had really completely processed what had happened and what Felicity had told him. He just knew that he wasn’t going to lose her because she wasn’t terminally ill or anything.

She was having his baby.

 _They_ were having a baby.

When their lips parted, Oliver took a tiny step away, so his hands fit between their bodies, and he could put it to her stomach and try to feel the life that was growing inside of her. There was nothing he could physically feel, but it still felt like a miracle right under his finger tips.

“Are you okay? Are you good? Is the baby fine? How far along are you? Did you already get to hear the heartbeat? And do you know if it’s a boy or a girl? When’s the next doctor’s appointment? And why didn’t you tell me that you wanted to go to a doctor because you thought you were pregnant? I would have come with you, and-“

Only when Felicity pressed her lips to his, did Oliver shut up. She chuckled when she pulled back and said, “Easy, daddy.”

“Sorry,” Oliver replied hastily, feeling his heart warming at the sound of Felicity calling him ‘daddy’ in this perfectly fluffy way. “I just want to know as much as possible about our baby.”

“How about we sit down, and I tell you everything?”

Oliver nodded, unable to smile any less than he was smiling right now though his face already hurt doing so. He was already taking the first step when Felicity held him back, looking at him questioningly.

“I take from your reaction that you didn’t know I was pregnant?”

“I didn’t know,” Oliver confirmed, leaning forward and kissing her forehead. “But I am so, so happy. I don’t even have words to describe how happy you make me.”

Felicity smiled. “You make me happy, too.”

Smiling, Oliver framed her face with his hands and kissed her gently.

“I love you,” he whispered against her lips.

“I love you, too,” Felicity replied, bending her head back to get a better look at him. “So what were you thinking you knew when it wasn’t about the pregnancy?”

Oliver sucked in a deep breath. He could still remember all too clearly how scared he had been all those days. His fear of losing her only increased with every day he fell more in love with her which was everyday. He had been so close to losing her several times before, how was he supposed to ever live with the thought of losing without her.

Slightly shaking his head, Oliver stroked his thumbs over the soft skin of her cheekbones gently and whispered, “I will tell you. But not tonight please. Tonight is just about our baby, okay?”

Felicity hesitated shortly, but, when Oliver kissed the tip of her nose, she smiled and nodded.

“Tonight is just about our baby,” she repeated his words and together they strolled towards the couch.

“You know, I don’t think I will ever grow tired of hearing you say ‘our baby’ or  ‘pregnant’ or anything like this.”

Felicity chuckled. “Just give it a few more hours, hon.”

But Oliver shook his head. “Never.

 _How can I be sure?_  
_In a world that's constantly changing,_  
How can I be sure?  
_... I'll be sure with you._

**Author's Note:**

> So… this turned out very different from what I intended. And after a week of not writing much it felt weirdly hard to write again. I hope you’re not disappointed with the fic!
> 
> There is going to be a fic that will mirror this one day I hope not too far in the future. ;)


End file.
